Part Deux: Wisconsin

I'm back in New York and I'm exhausted. Still, I must inform my faithful readers (all three of you) of my maniac Midwest trip. I want to thank Joe, Nate, and especially Scotty for braving the Wisconsin Northwoods with me last week, even if it didn't go exactly as planned.

Day one: The boys arrived in Eau Claire and we headed to Holcombe, but not before missing our exit and finding ourselves in Thorp, home of the legendary Thorpedo Restaurant. Oh well, more driving practice time for me I suppose. We arrived at the park and went to work setting up our new home. The beer can holding, spare-tired park custodian Gary quickly became our new friend. The day ended by grilling cheddarwurst brats, sitting around a campfire, and playing games that recall the days of 6th grade.
Day two: Rain. Confined to the screen tent, we played Clue (it was Prof. Plum with the candlestick in the ballroom) and Pictionary. Then it was time to take a break. Some of us needed to use the pit toilet. Others went to the tent and found two miniature lakes developing inside soaking our sleeping bags. And still raining. Time for plan B. We hastily packed everything up and headed north to Joe's parent's cabin in Hayward. There, we upgraded to a cute cabin, a clear lake, and monster bonfire pit. The trip was saved!
Day three: Typical lake fun. Went "toonin'" around the lake and lasted about 30 minutes swimming in its icy waters. After a long adventure in the Northwoods, it was time to say goodbye. It was also time to say goodbye to my parents who teared up as we hugged. The rest of the trip was spent in Minneapolis with Jason, laughing with friends, shopping at the M.O.A., and watching The Lord of the Rings. It took awhile, but the trilogy is finally complete! All in all, it was a wonderful week spent with wonderful people. Thanks everyone!

Truth or Dare is a fun game.

decapitated deer=priceless cabin decor

Forcefeeding Scotty with acorns

It's been a long weekend...

Part Un: Minneapolis

Who can turn the world on with his smile?

It's nice to be back in the City of Lakes, the last city I called home. Usually when I land in MSP from NYC, the plane flies over Eagan and I see the top of my former work haunt, West Publishing. Yesterday's landing was a treat because the plane wrapped around downtown before coasting over I-494 and landing. Seeing the entire city from up above on a clear day brought back warm memories. The three tallest skyscrapers of downtown, the chain of lakes, and even my commuting enemy, I-35, made me smile.
I began the day by visiting Jason at the Minnesota Press. Seems Mr. Hot Stuff has become Mr. Big Shot now that he has his own office. He recently was promoted and is now an editor. I'm proud of him because he's really smart. I stored my luggage at the Press and met up with my pal J Z who will be moving to Milwaukee next week. I wish him good luck. I hooked up with Jason later and we walked through the Joan Crawford movie playing in Loring Park, then ate at Rudolph's. I spent the night at Jason's and we woke up and drank coffee together. Jason entered work late that morning and the receptionist knowingly gave him a smirk/nod as he entered the office. Left aloone, I went to Spyhouse and played on my computer. The future Lorien Akay joined me and we ventured on the 17 bus. I like that I still remember my Minneapolis bus routes. The 6, the 4, the 17, and even you 21 bus. We met up with Lorien's fiancée, Carig, who is every bit as hot as his Friendster picture shows him to be. Later, I met my mom at my old apartment at 27th and Girard. Now that was a great apartment... I often think about my red kitchen, my green glass globe light, and the cutest chartreuse couch ya ever done seen. My mom let me drive home even though it scares her to be in the same vehicle as me. The drive on the city's interstates was somewhat stressful. It was after all, the fourth time I've driven a car this year, and only one of a handful of occasions since I lost my baby escort last year to a diseased transmission. Only one car honked at me and it was my fault that I cut the car off. I can only imagine how many cars would honk at me in New York where honking is an unnecessary epidemic. Sometimes I'd Ilike to approach an aggrivated driver and say, "Do you REALLY think sounding your horn for twenty seconds is going to improve traffic?" But I won't do that because I don't want to be shot. I'm looking forward to returning to Minneapolis on Saturday to see other friends and to see the nightlife. But first, I'll be heading to da WisCONsin northwoods fer sum campin' fun. Oh yah!

All Fired Up

I came across an unexpected mini vacation last week. Dave invited me to go with him and other comedians to Fire Island. If you're not familiar with Fire Island, it's a very thin strip of island located off Long Island. For doing an eight minute stand up routine, Dave received a free motel room at the Ice Palace, and I was right there to take shelter on the floor. I boarded the 8:59 A.M. Long Island Rail train (barely) and two transfers, a cab ride, and a ferry shuttle later, I found myself at Cherry Grove, Fire Island. Fire Island surprised me. I was expecting a very commercial, touristy place, maybe like Coney Island. Rather, Fire Island looks like it hasn't changed in over twenty years. Cars aren't allowed on the island so a system of boardwalks connects everything. The whole trip felt like I was on a Wisconsin camping trip, except stuffed with a little more pizazz.

The night started off at the comedy show at the Ice Palace. I thought the comics did a great job, even if the crowd wasn't all that into it. Afterwards, we headed to Cherry's where the Hot Ass Contest was in session. I wanted to enter, but chickened out after I saw the competition and the competition's ability to shake it on stage. A girl not afraid to bare it all calling herself Dirty Martini won. The best drag queen I have ever seen, Porsche, performed. She sings using her real voice and has the ability to replicate ten to twelve other voices including her dead-on imitation of janis Joplin. The party transitioned to Sunsets on the Bay for my first foam party! I have to admit, it was a lot of fun. The foam filled the dance floor up to our necks. We left the party soaking wet. We finished the night off going to the beach looking at the stars and the ocean which is a pretty cool thing to do at four in the morning. The next day was spent sunning on the beach and swimming in the ocean which was all fine except for getting sunburned and stepping on a jellyfish. My foot still aches. I probably won't get back to Fire Island this summer, but I'm definitely looking forward to next year.

Walking on the boardwalks

Dancing in the foam

A deer walks around the beach. The deer on Fire Island are not afraid of people and that includes topless girls.

Too much sun

It's a Small World After All

Living in a city of 8,008,278 people (2000 census), you'd think that the chances of running into people you know and even those you don't really know would be slim. Not at all. Last Friday I went to west 16th St. to deliver something for my boss. As I'm about to enter Union Square, I hear, "Timo!" It's Sheebs and her friend Liz walking out of the clinic they work at. I didn't even know where her clinic was located, and yet, of all the streets and avenues in Manhattan, we found ourselves together at that place and time.

I've had another eerie coincidence. Last June, I received a Friendster message from a random guy that I didn't follow up on. One month later, I went to see "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee" and discovered the Friendster message sender was Jesse Tyler Ferguson, the red headed actor (pictured) in the musical. Imagine my surprise learning a Broadway actor had friendster'ed me! Then a week later, I grabbed an uptown C train and whom did I sit next to? Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Last week I went to the Phoenix for drinks. Again, more JTF. Is someone trying to tell me something?

Other chance encounters include cute couple Jane and Skye, recent transplants from Mpls, who I ran into of all places, the Cobble Hill neighborhood in Brooklyn. These girls live at East 91st and 2nd on the Upper East Side and now they're in this quaint, low key Brooklyn neighborhood? And I just happen to be there too?! They were there to check out a great restaurant they had heard of.

I ate at the East 81st and 3rd Ave. Gobo about two weeks ago. About three hours later, I saw our waitress and the hostess getting off the train with me at Bleeker Street, about 80 streets south of the restaurant. When we were looking for a new roommate last June, we showed the place to this one guy. I passed that same guy in a crosswalk at 23rd and 5th the next day.

I'm just waiting for the day when I'll turn a corner and I'll run into Parker Posey or someone similarly unbelievable, and they'll say to me, "Want to hang out now?" And I'll pee my pants, then say, "Okay."

Give my Regards to Broadway

There's no hiding that one of the reasons I wanted to move to New York is because of the theatre. I may never become a Broadway superstar, but at least I can be an audience member superstar. I've managed to see a handful of shows so far. Last week, I saw the revival of David Mamet's "Glengarry Glen Ross" that won best play revival at the Tonys this year. I won't provide a review why GGR is good, but I will commend Alan Alda. I just think this guy is such a fantastic actor.

With the fall season rapidly approaching, I did a little research into what to expect from the magic that is Broadway. "Lennon" was featured in Newsweek recently. I've heard the reviews have been mediocre. John Lennon...cool guy, but at this point, I'm tired of the jukebox musicals. It started with "Mamma Mia," but now it's out of control. "Movin' Out" (Billy Joel), "All Shook Up" (Elvis), and "Good Vibrations" (Beach Boys) have all followed. The trend finds itself in London's West End as well where Queen and Rod Stewart (not kidding) have created musicals based on their songs. Others like Chicago-"You're the Inspiration"- are in talks to make a musical. The good news is that the trend may be leveling off. I only spot one jukebox musical for the upcoming year. Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons will pool their songs to present "Jersey Boys." With any luck, this show will go the way of "Good Vibrations" which lasted only 94 performances.

The rest of the season seems run of the mill, but there are a few surprises. "Sweeney Todd" will be revived. If I thoroughly enjoyed my high school's production, the Broadway version will no doubt surpass it. Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick are teaming up again for "The Odd Couple." I think I'll purchase tickets now, then sell them on eBay for a 250% profit in December. "Barefoot in the Park" will be revived. This Neil Simon play was my 8th grade forensics piece so I have fond memories. Classic musicals of the 1970's will return including "The Wiz" and "A Chorus Line." Alan Cumming :) will star in "The Threepenny Opera." Oh Cumming! Some movies will find themselves on the Great White Way such as "The Color Purple" and (not making this up) "The Wedding Singer." Some books too like "Lestat" based on Anne Rice's vampire world. Saving the best for last...London is gifting us with "Jerry Springer the Opera!" Rumor has it the finale ends with lesbian KKK members throwing cake at each other after revealing their secret sex scandals. Can't wait!

"Quoted"

Cooper just got back from a three week vacation. While visiting his Arizona homeland, he had dinner with an old friend whose ten-year-old daughter pronounced,

"It's so unfortunate that I must grow up in a time of war."

No word on whether she rolled her eyes or took a deep sigh after uttering the statement.

Summer in the City

Yesterday, I went to the M.I.A. concert in Central park. It's all part of the Summerstage concert series that goes on every summer. All the shows are free with a few exceptions. Donations and corporate sponsorships alone do not pay for the series so my ticket to next week's Death Cab for Cutie and Decemberists show cost some bucks. Actually, I got the tickets as an early, early birthday gift. Thanks Sheebs! The previous night, I attended the Saturday night party MisSHAPES at Luke and Leroy's where my favorite M.I.A. song was played so I was plenty pumped to see the Sri Lankan babe shake it live. Three opening acts later, M.I.A. finally arrived, but I think a lot of the crowd had lost its energy after so many opening acts. By the third opening act, an US Weekly dated early June 2005 that I stole from an Upper East Sider's recycling bundle entertained me more than the DJ spinning beats. Highlight of the show was the drunk guy in his underwear (pictured) who jumped on stage to dance for a few seconds before being whisked away by security. All said, I saw the opening acts perform for two and a half hours and M.I.A. perform for 35 minutes. :( The night ended at LES's Barrio Chino where the stiffest margarita of my life was served to me. ;)

A Star is Born!

So I was in a movie yesterday. Sort of... Though I wasn't provided with an exact title, I imagine I played the role of audience member #147. When I obtained tickets to see "Last Call with Carson Daly" (not recommended) in April, I must have been placed on a list and this same list contacted me to be an extra. I could bring a friend too so I brought Sheebs.

The film is called "Shut Up and Sing!" It's about this a capella group who performed at their ivy league university back in the day. Now, 15 years later, they meet up at a wedding to reminisce and re-examine where they are in life. Very The Big Chillish. The film is one of those low budget movies that hopes to get into a few film festivals, win some recognition, then go on to become a blockbuster. Who's in it? The producer guy from the the NBC comedy, "Good Morning Miami." The goofy office worker from ABC's Spin City is in it too. The main character is David Harbour who Sheebs and I saw earlier this year on Broadway in the revival of Edward Albee's "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" also starring the wonderful Kathleen Turner. The a capella songs in the film were written by a former member of Rockapella. Don't remember Rockapella? They were the group that provided clues and sang on the PBS show, "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" This experience taught me that movie making is a long tedious process. It's a lot of waiting, repeating, and yelling. I think I'll stick with international trade.