Before Next Week Happens

Next week is finals so here's the lowdown before I enter hell. The raccoon is gone, though I still hear sounds throughout the house. Last Sunday I heard a cooing of sorts and it sounded like I wasn't the only one in the room. Probably just squirrels though that's not much more comforting.
I saw Doug McIntosh last week. He's a college friend who did the Peace Corps in Mali and now lives in Madison working. Doug, you look good and next time you're in New York, I'll take you to the seedy gay bars, the ones that don't close at 4:00A.M. and are full of thugs with only one thing on their minds.
Monday was a fun night. I went to see Dave's karaoke gig, "Wild Rice Night," at the Orchid Lounge. Between Dave's free drink tickets and one of the loveliest, generous bartenders I have ever met, I got really drunk. This is a good thing because I need that if I'm going to sing in public and subsequently transform into a whore for the microphone. There was no stopping me as I headed straight for the musicals. Sang some Rocky Horror, Little Shop of Horrors, and the capped off the night with Gypsy Horror. Lots of Horror. On the way home, we walked down Avenue A and encountered a 24-hour Christmas tree market. The cashier was in a heated booth, but he was slumped over napping. I tried to grab his attention by wishing him a Merry Christmas, but he didn't wake up. Then we gathered around the booth and began singing Christmas carols and he still didn't wake up! He probably was really sleepy. Anyway, after walking a block, I noticed that my friend Phillip had stolen a Christmas tree from the lot which begs the question, if the cashier dude is sleeping in the booth, does anyone hear the Christmas tree being stolen? Think about it. So as we're dragging the tree down the street, and we presented ourselves with a challenge. Will the Cock let you gain entrance if a six-foot Christmas tree accompanies you? I don't think we'll ever know the answer to that question because it was 3:50A.M and the Cock wasn't letting anyone in given the 4:00A.M. bar time. Next morning, bad hangover and curse words.
Last night I saw Jesus is Magic (above), Sarah Silverman's one-woman show. Trust me, if you like jokes about the Holocaust, AIDS, and rape, this one's a bona fide belly buster!
Not revealing too much at this point, but I have a new job! Will report more on this in the future, but needless to say, it hasn't hit me how great this job is yet.
I'll be studying a lot this weekend, but before I do that, I'll be attending a French conversation group so I'm excited to get back on the cheval and revive my Franglais skillz. Speaking of French, the amazing Steph sent me some books for my birthday from her publishing house, Sourcebooks. One of the books is the "Hot Gay Sex Coupon Book." My favorite coupon? "With this coupon, I'll let you cover our bodies with baby oil so that we slip and slide together." Where will this slip and sliding take place?! I knew that tarp would come in handy one of these. And where's the "Pee on me!" coupon?! The coupon book is fun, but I'm really enjoying reading "Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong." It's a book that examines why Americans love France, but hate the French. I'm loving it because I'm constantly bombarded with flashbacks of my life in Paris. I encourage all Frenchies out there to read it and anyone who ate freedom fries in 2003. Finally, I'm going to watch Bareback Mountain, err...Brokeback Mountain tomorrow. I've already seen Bareback Mountain. Jake and Heath, don't let me down!